I AM Better Than You - sai

[stolenhart]

Her fingers moved slowly over the fine wires pulling music from them with a graceful ease. She had long fingers perfect for the ancient floor harp she practiced on and a voice that was as sweet as sugar. She finished the song slowly, lovingly as if she had written the century's old song herself instead of merely reciting it. "That was lovely Del". The speaker was a well-dressed woman sitting beside the Journeyman Harper. They shared a lot of looks though the elder was by far the more beautiful. Her beauty coming from years of maturity than anything else. Dressed in fine clothes, finer than any in the room, it was easy to acknowledge this was Fort's Lady Holder.

"Thanks momma, but you are biased", Yedella replied leaning back in her chair. Bright blue eyes framed within black lashes glanced towards her mother. She wore a gown of similar cut to her mother's though suitable for a young woman her age. Between the mother and daughter it was easy to lose your brother. Though Del did not have the matured beauty of her mother she was beautiful in her own right and could one day match or even surpass her mother's beauty. "But I am not child and I agree. There are not many with your skill on the Harp. Singing yes, but not the Harp", a man said.

This man was Master Harper Torril, Del and Farran's Master. Del did not need him anymore she had only to compose a few pieces and then she could walk the tables for her Masters, well it wasn't that easy, it would take quite a few turns of travel and practice and living life to make Master pieces but still. Farran on the other hand, well he did not possess the skills his betrothed did. Torril had travelled across Pern more as their chaperone and Farran's Master than anything else. "You have to say that", Del replied with a smile getting out of her chair to pour the MasterHarper and her mother two glasses of wine.

"No I don't. I don't say that about Farran", the Harper pointed out as Del handed him a glass of wine. "You shouldn't be so hard on him sir", she replied handing her mother a glass. "He does try so hard", she took her seat and set fingers to the strings. "I have been playing with this tune for a while", she explained before moving her fingers across the string. It was a sprightly tune, perfect for a Gather and dancing. She smiled to see Torril and her mother's ladies toes tapping as she played.

[saidaltam]

Someone long ago once said, "Speak of the devil, and he shall appear." It is possible (though unlikely) that whomever first spoke those words was speaking of that very instant as Farran took that exact opportunity to make an entrance. He had wanted to make a show of appearing, but that would be incorrigibly rude, and what sort of Lord Holder's Son would he be if he were ever to be as rude as that? Instead, he slipped in quietly, a smile playing over his thin lips, and waited for his dear, lovely fiance to finish her performance.

Really, she was quite pretty. Sometimes, when he was entirely alone, he would catch himself wondering if, like so many other things in his life, he was really good enough to have her, or if she was just another reward of his father's status and not truly his. However, in his wakeful and public state, he was quick to shake off that silly notion. He was BENDEN bred! How would he not deserve the loveliest bride that Pern had to offer?

[stolenhart]

The music cut off quickly as Del caught sight of her betrothed. "My lord", she said softly, moving to her feet so she could curtsy. Respect paid, she crossed her mother's work room to him, "May I get you something? Some wine, klah?", she asked, coming to stand at his side. Yedella had been raised to be proper and respectful at all times, or at least all times she was in public. Behind closed doors she could be quite the hell-raiser herself. A tomboy as a child she had often escaped to the stables or to the fields to watch the workers. Of course she would be reprimanded, mostly by her older brother or sisters, but always forgiven by her father. Still she had a feisty temper when it suited her though she doubted Farran knew she was other than the proper Holder's daughter. He'd get that knowledge soon enough.

"Farran lad we were just talking about you", Torril said waving Farran to a chair beside him. Both Lady Holder and Master Harper nodded to Farran but neither one stood up to him. "Have a seat, we were just listening to Del play. Why don't you join her? You two play lovely duets", Torril asked. They were only lovely because of Del. Farran's skill was purely technical with no soul behind it. He'd probably never make it above Journeyman Rank. Pity really, the boy had the drive for better things. Del waited patiently, not for the first time did she wonder why Farran stayed betrothed to her. She liked him, would even let it grow to love, if he would return the same emotion, it just seemed as if he took her for granted. There were other Holder's daughters out there he could marry, shards lady Relisa of Tillek would have been his better match both coming from vintner holdings. And she was prettier than Del was.

[saidaltam]

Farran smiled brightly and artificially at his betrothed. "You needn't have stopped. You know I love how beautifully you play, my dear," he told her, bowing politely and kissing her hand softly. "You must finish that song. It was fantastic," he insisted, moving to take a seat beside the Master Harper and Lady Holder and gesturing toward her seat. "Please, sit. Continue."

He did love to listen to her play, too, but some small part of him was very, very jealous. He knew, on some level, that she was far more skilled than he, and it always made him wistful.

[stolenhart]

Farran tended to scare her sometimes when he watched her play. She sensed something about him and it worried her. He was a good man, her brother liked him, but he was very sore on teh subject of his music. Del was always reluctant to play in front of him, not wanting to drive a wedge between them before they were even married. If he was so determined to marry her then she at least wanted them to get started without animosity. Del was still a romantic, despite her age, and she wanted whatever her parents had. She assumed it was love but with so many marriages it could just be close-friendship. Still she would settle for close-friendship, it was something at least.

She sat down in her chair and reached for the harp only to have her mother raise a hand. "Play later. Now that Farran is here we can ask him about the wedding and the Gather afterwards", the Lady Holder interrupted. "Oh mother now is not the time", Del argued softly. "Oh of course it is Del hush now. Now Farran", Yedella's mother was a very mothering woman, with eight children she should have been. She brushed his hair back off his face just like she did for Del's younger brother and went on, "where should we have the wedding? With the Hall is at Benden Weyr of course but Fort has more prestige with the Weyrwoman being just down the road. Do you think your father would mind if we held it here? Then you can take Del back to Benden".

[saidaltam]

"My dear Lady Holder, I've no intention of whisking your daughter off to Benden immediately! Why, she'll undoubtedly want to continue her own studies for a time, will she not? And I, assuredly, will not be abandoning my own when my dear father is in such excellent health. Surely he will not begrudge us the time to continue our studies?" Farran smiled winningly at his fiance's beautiful mother, pushing his hair back. "And perhaps the Weyrwoman's people would be good enough to assist in bringing my family here. If they could be so kind, then undoubtedly, my father would agree to such an arrangement. I can think of no finer place for our wedding than here, at our beloved Harper Hall. Can you, my dear?"

Farran turned in his chair to smile sweetly at Yedella, and, for once, it was a very genuine smile. His answer had, despite its unnecessarily flowery speech, been entirely genuine. He was not ready and did not want to return to Benden and his father's willful governance. There was so much more peace to be had, here.

[stolenhart]

Garia gave him a tiny smile to hide her confusion. The lad was going to let Del continue her schooling here at Fort just so he could continue his own? How strange. But then if Benden's Holder was in good health there was no reason for them not to continue their studies. "My own husband would not so I am sure your father wouldn't", she assured him, "It would be marvelous for Del to be here for awhile maybe even long enough for me to see her grandbaby". Del blushed a bright red, "Mother". While Del was not the oldest in her family, not even the oldest girl, she'd always been Garia's favorite. "What? I am just saying. Farran will need an heir as soon as you are married, no matter if his father is in good health or not. Sicknesses do kill children dear and it is your duty", Del frowned, plinking a string on the harp so it rang dully.

"Not even married yet and you are already picking out my children's name", Del complained but was cut off by her mother. "I don't see why not, Ilayria has a good head on her shoulders and I'm sure Torril would oversee the ceremony", Garia bubbled over. "I suppose I could, as long as we can use your excellent cooks Lady Garia". "I don't see why not", she mused, "Do you think, Torril we should invite Tillek? Relisa needs a husband". While her mother and the Harper discussed the wedding, Del excused herself with a murmur leaving the room. She took a few steps down the hallway and leaned against the wall. "Sharding woman. Can't leave well enough alone, she might as well marry him herself she's in such an all-fire hurry", she talked to herself pacing up and down the hallway.

[saidaltam]

Seeing Yedella exit, Farran also excused himself, slipping into the hallway after her and closing the door to let the two of them plan everything. "Yedella?" he called softly, not wanting to be heard by the pair in the other room. "Yedella, my dear, is something the matter?" he asked, stepping away from the room and tilting his head curiously at his bride-to-be. "If the wedding will be too much, around your studies, my dear, surely a few more months, a turn, even, would be of no harm," he suggested. That was all he could imagine might be the problem.

Unless, of course, she had decided that she did not want to marry him, after all. Then what? He'd be married off to whomever his father picked out? Some unskilled, useless, musically challenged ninny who would do nothing but breed hundreds of children and tell him how to run his own holding, as though he wasn't capable of doing it himself? (Or, worse, someone who would realize that he wasn't capable of doing it himself and would take it from him? He couldn't even bring himself to acknowledge that possibility.)

[stolenhart]

"Farran?", she glanced up at him, her face set in some inscrutable way, "Farran I have asked you repeatedly to call me Del", she told him then sighed running her fingers along her braid as if it was a harp string. It was one of her habits when she was upset or nervous to play her waist length braid as if it was a harp string. "Studies? Oh Farran you know I don't have studies anymore", she sighed, sitting on a bench tucked into an alcove. She hadn't had studies since her third year as a Journeyman. She'd spent her Apprenticeship and early Journeyman turns learning to make instruments and how to play them. Just this last Turn, when she had been betrothed to Farran, the Masters overseeing her had declared she could learn no more from them about the harp or singing. They had suggested she practice both skills and write, writing music the only way she could obtain her Master's knots. Turns away. She needed five pieces and simple journeyman works would not cut it.

"And it's not the wedding either though admittedly I am worried about that as well", she confessed, leaning against the cool stone wall. At twenty-three Del had been raised to be married whenever her parents told her too, knowing that had made life easier and harder for her. Easier in that she didn't have to worry about anything, harder because she doubted she would know who she was marrying. That she had been betrothed to a fellow student was good in and of itself, he at least would understand her a bit. "She's just so controlling", she finally blurted out.

[saidaltam]

Farran sat down beside her, pressing his lips into a tight contemplatively. Controlling parents, he could more than understand, and he empathized with her concern. After a long moment, he said, "Well. It's our wedding, isn't it, not hers? How do you want it done? They've already got the rest of our lives. The least they can spare us is one day to do with what we wish."

Curiously, he looked over at her, unsure how his words would affect her. It was, of course, something she had been raised to understand, but that didn't mean that it was something that she would appreciate having voiced.

In truth, he was less than happy about his status as Heir to the Lord Holder. He wanted to be a Harper. He knew he was no kind of skilled musician, least of all as skilled as his wife-to-be, and he didn't need to be told that. He also knew that, regardless of his wishes, he would be the next Lord Holder of Benden, as the only child and heir of his father. However, that didn't mean he had to like it, so he would more than understand if she was less than entirely happy about their circumstances.

[stolenhart]

She growled under her breathe. "It's not even the wedding it's just her", she replied. "She knows I want to travel a bit before I have children. I want to get material and stories for my Master pieces. I'd even thought of sneaking down south", she added, leaning forward to make sure no one overheard her. "They have to know songs I don't. I'd like to learn a bit from them". Going South by herself would not be a great idea, nor would be if she went as herself. No doubt someone would try to kidnap her and hold her for ransom, they'd get quite a few things for her hide she had no doubt about it. Or so she believed. Her mother wouldn't let her go without a fight. "And I don't want Relisa at my wedding she is an absolutely horrid person", she retorted that was really as far as she was concerned about her wedding. She did want a small wedding but Farran qas his father's heir so a large wedding was called for.

"I apologize I am usually not so outspoken or forthright", she apologized softly, lowering her head. She hadn't meant to show him that she had a bit of spirit just yet. In her mind it was better the man she knew than the man she didn't and if she alienated him she would be marrying a complete stranger. Maybe even that odious old man in Telgar. She visibly shuddered as that thought crossed her mind. "It's just, she has all but named my children and they aren't even a fact yet let alone a though".

[saidaltam]

Farran was nervous. He didn't know what to do with her, now that she had told him what was actually wrong. "I, uh... Well, I don't see why we'd have to go having children right away. You have a number of siblings, my parents are both in excellent health, there are subsidiary lines for all parties... extra time isn't going to hurt anything, as I said before." He considered for a long moment. "I don't want you going south, at least not alone, and I don't really know how we could possibly cover up your leaving, unless we found someone to stand in for you, but... hrm..." He furrowed his brow thoughtfully before sighing. "I never was good at subterfuge. I always had to ask Mother for that, and she would never approve of helping with this."

He shook his head. He really did want to find a way to make her happy. If he was going to be spending the rest of his life with her, there was no point in starting it off on the wrong foot--though he did agree wholeheartedly about Relisa. The girl had had the audacity to flirt sincerely with him, not minutes after his engagement was announced to her! Of course, a little idle flirting was meaningless, but hers had not been idle, and for a girl in her position, that was purely impermissible. What sort of heir would he be if he'd given in to her? His marriage to Yedella would have to have been called off, his father would have had a fit, and he'd already be married and likely a father of her child, by now! The thought made him ill. He'd never be able to be a Harper that way.

[stolenhart]

She sensed his nervousness and gave him a reassuring smile. "Don't worry Farran I won't let your father marry you off to another woman particularly Relisa", she had misunderstood his nerves and thought she was being helpfully reassuring. "I am not in line to inherit here at Fort", she gently reminded him. Her older brother was already married with three kids of his own, two of them boys, and both Esilly and Dani were married with one kid apiece. And she had a younger brother as well. Del would probably not inherit at all, not with four male heirs before her and her two older sisters. "But you, would you let a cousin have Benden?", she asked him lifting an eyebrow in question. She didn't think he would for all of his trying to avoid the matter. "I am not arguing for kids right away", she was just trying to show him how ridiculous his own statements were. They could get by with a turn or two or three before the rumors would start, and the Conclave would begin pushing his father to either name a new Heir or remarry his only son.

"I don't want to be forced to leave I want to go with their blessing but that woman", she glared at the wall, knowing her mother sat just a short distance beyond it on the other side, "she is going to drive me crazy. I am sorry you have to be here for all of this. You can go to the Hall if you want". The old Harper Hall was a short thiry minute walk away from Fort Hold. Though it was smaller than it had been centuries ago, major performances were still held there a few times a turn. The Halls there had been given over to more militaristic purposes rather than hold. Still though it was the main Harper Hall for the western half of the Northern continent. "I'm sure my brother Hardel will be disappointed that he didn't get to meet you though". Word had been sent that Hardel was a day or two away from Fort, returning from Ruatha with a new string of runners. He was a firm believer that a man should be able to protect what was his and he'd never let Del go without making Farran prove he could protect her.

[saidaltam]

"That... isn't what I meant." Farran sighed. He never fumbled like this with other women. Why did he have to have so many problems with this woman? Not like some silly serving girl, this woman actually mattered, and no matter what he said to her, he always managed to mess things up. "My father and I may have our differences, but my mother would see to it that he wouldn't allow me to marry that girl if I wanted to, after our last visit to their holdings--and I do not want to." He shook his head. "And I didn't mean that you were trying for early children. I know you're not. I'm... Nevermind." He smiled weakly at her. "I'm sure we'll be able to work everything out."

He was, of course, nothing of the sort, but she didn't need to know that. Enough that he deal with is own deficiencies. There was no reason to burden her with them, too.

[stolenhart]

She smiled at him. "I don't think she's available for marriage anymore. Mother was saying Relisa had been caught dallying with a rider from the Weyr and may have gotten pregnant", she smiled. While the dallying wasn't so much a problem, the getting pregnant was and Lord Tillek would no appreciate his daughter getting herself in that condition. Not with Farran and a few other marriagable heirs roaming about he could marry her too. While there were not many flitts in the North, Fort had it's share and Hardel had one. A rather intelligent brown he'd picked up in Southern Boll. Del had always wanted one but there were no greens in Fort and she was never in Boll or Gar when a clutch was laid. "I certainly hope so", she sighed, putting her chin on her hand with a sigh.

She was silent for a moment before she glanced up at him. "Do you want to sneak out to the stables?", her voice was hopeful then she remembered Relisa and her thoughts about that girl and sighed. "Nevermind", if one of the hands or servants caught her going out to the stable with a boy she'd find herself confined to quarters for a sevenday and poor Farran would find himself thrashed either by her brother or by her mother. It was just no fair, she hadn't been out to the stables in months let alone out for a ride. 'be careful' the Harpers said, don't grow callouses on your hands or hurt them. She was so tired of being carefu lof her hands.

[saidaltam]

Farran sat up straight and arched an eyebrow primly. "My dear Del, it is hardly proper for the Heir to the Lord Holder of Benden and the future Lady Holder of Benden to go sneaking off to the stables. Why, how ever would the people be able to see us ride sneaking about like that?" He smiled impishly then and added, "Besides, your mother can hardly object to a proper ride. We are supposed to become at least passingly acquainted before we wed, and what sort of Lady Holder will you be if you're unwilling to ride with your husband? Why, a Lady Holder of Benden unwilling to ride the estates? I don't think my father would HEAR of it!" This last was said with great melodrama. Acting, as it turned out, was the one skill that he had managed to master perfectly during his tutelage at Harper Hall. If he would give up on music and shift his official focus to acting, he would have walked the tables to become a journeyman some time ago, but his pride and his desire to perform musically would never allow it.

[stolenhart]

Del had never mastered acting, she saw it as a form of lying and she didn't hold with lying in any form. That could have been because she had never gotten away with a lie once in her life. She had the type of expression that just revealed what she was thinking no matter how hard she tried to keep that from happening. It was part of what made her a great singer though, her audience could see her love for music and feel her passion. "True. Very true", she nodded then she blushed thinking that his wedding gift was in the stable. While the stallion still belonged to them, Hardel had wanted to bred a few mares to him, hence the quick trip to Ruatha. Still it wouldn't hurt for Farran to ride the runner a time or two, just to make sure they got on.

"I'll have to change", she added, as her blush went a deeper pink. With her pale skin and few freckles Del really shouldn't blush but she couldn't help it. "But it won't take me but a moment I can hardly ride in this", she tugged at the skirt of her dark brown gown. "Can you meet me in the Kitchens?", she asked him standing up and giving him a questioning look.

[saidaltam]

"Of course," Farran agreed, rising. "Shall I tell your mother that I've usurped you for the afternoon? She can spend the rest of it closeted away, planning a wedding that likely won't happen anything like she wishes." This last, he said with a wry, sweet smile.

In truth, he had no idea just how much of her mother's plans for the wedding would go through, but if he had his way, he would see to it that Del's desires for the wedding took priority over her mother's. She was only going to get one, after all. He may as well try to at least see to it that it was one that she would enjoy.

[stolenhart]

Del shook her head. "No need. The hands will send someone to her when I come out to the stable to get a runner. She'll know where I am at least. I am not so sure she is worried about you", she teased him, starting down the hall to the stairway that would lead up to her room. "She can plan what she wants, Torril won't be a good conspirator. He's more concerned with the Gather afterwards than the actual ceremony", she added, "She'd best go talk to my sisters". That said she darted up the stairs and out of his sight.

Moments later she stepped into the kitchen a different person. Dark brown short-sleeved blouse tucked into equally dark pants tucked into equally dark knee high boots with a heel on them. A belt around her waist held a small fighting dagger. Only her hair was the same, pulled back in the same tight braid stretching down her back to her butt. The workers in the kitchen didn't look twice at her as she fiddled about the kitchen, stealing a few crusty pieces of bread and a orange tuber or two. She wondered if Farran was outside in the kitchen yard or slow in coming behind her.

[saidaltam]

Farran had arrived in the kitchens long since and, with his tendency for distraction, had wandered outside to the yard. There, he was watching the kitchen workers go about their business and contemplating a number of things, few of them actually pertinent to anything. He found himself observing this kitchen worker's pleasant hair, that kitchen worker's unusual gait, that kitchen worker's uncanny resemblance to a serving girl who had worked back home for a time--this last was a bit disconcerting, and he shifted his attention quickly. His mind played over the runners for a short time--he'd always been fond of the beasts, to some degree, though he found he had little patience for their breeding--and then over his fiance, his impending marriage, and, returning, as it always did, to the source of most of his problems, his parents.

It was in this contemplative state that he managed to entirely miss Del's arrival.